Reflecting on my Private Education
I’ve been blessed with a Green mind and Blue Blood – not literally of course. I’ve been fortunate enough to have been given the opportunity to sharpen my mind and hone my skills with the “high-class” education and facilitites of LSGH and ADMU. From 1993 to 2010 , I whiled my time in classrooms, in the football field and in organizations absorbing lessons and information like a sponge and spending hours on end preparing for tests and exams just to get good enough grades to impress my parents, my teachers, friends, and ultimately, my employers.
Almost 2 years removed from the educational system, I’ve had a “rude awakening” of sorts as I observed my friends tread different paths and as I took steps to carve a path of my own.
I have always been told that we were being prepared for the real world; honestly, the educational system from which I sprung is nothing like the real world which I was led to believe.
Rude Awakening # 1: On falling in-line
My being in those schools afforded me with privileges such as having no need to fall-in-line. My parents fell in line for me to register when I was in elementary and in high school, I had a someone help me when I first got my driver’s licence and the online registration in college allowed me to choose my classes from the comforts of my own home (but at the mercy of our internet connection).
So imagine my shock when I first registered to vote (when I didn’t join Ateneo’s group registration), when I went to get my first NBI clearance, when I got my SSS number, medical exams and other pre-employment requirements.
The first thing is that, I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I wasn’t prepared for this. I wasn’t used to the long lines, and I certainly wasn’t used to going to government offices to get things done for myself.
I wasn’t taught how to get my NBI clearance and fall in line for 6 hours straight in scorching heat. I wasn’t taught the value of getting my SSS, Philhealth and HMDF and Cedulas, I had to find out for myself how to register a corporation, get business permits and such. Hell, I wasn’t even taught how to fall in line to get my licence back from the LGU’s when I decided to stop paying the traffic enforcers and do the right thing. From the hours I spent falling in line, talking to people I didn’t know to pass my time and humbly asking them how to go about things, I learned a lot.
School conditioned me to think that my education allowed me privileges that no other person could have. The real world exposed to me to the unfair reality that those with “money” have shortcuts and can get away with almost everything while those who have less have to go through the “normal process.”
What gave me the right to skip lines, to bypass procedures, to pay my way out of the law? The reality is that we must learn to go through things the way normal people do in order for us to understand the hardships that others go through on a daily basis and hopefully be smart enough to do something about it.
Rude Awakening # 2: On School Pride
For 17 years, my mind was being formed to think that “I am in the best school, therefore I am one of the best if not the best.” Can you imagine what that would do to one’s ego? It bloats to an extent that encountering someone who’s more brilliant but who comes from a “lesser known school” is a kick in the groin.
I left college full of pride and confidence knowing that I received the “best education available”. 2 years removed, I sit here humbled as I recall people I encountered and worked with who have done greater things and have achieved more despite graduating from a different school. (or having not graduated at all)
We just have to accept the fact that there are more brilliant students out there regardless of their educational background.
I was taught to be proud. Now I wish I was taught to be humble instead.
Rude Awakening # 3: On being “Christian Gentlemen” and “Men and Women for Others”
Yes I’ve been told to lead a life in the service of others. I’ve written many a paper and delivered just as much reports on how I am to serve others – especially the less fortunate. Yet, despite the A’s and recognition I’ve garnered, my soul is left wanting.
The reality that set in was that I did all those to get the grade, to ensure my “future” with a multinational corporation or whatever dream job I envisioned to have back then.
“Christian service” and being a “Man for others”, for the most part, is limited to NSTP, JEEP and a weekend immersion. (For others who are more enlightened, it also involves weekly trips to areas). I’m sure if you go through all the papers and reports submitted over the years, you’ll see thousands of “solutions” to help our less fortunate countrymen. Brilliant ideas that remain as such – concepts and plans waiting to be put into action.
Painful as it is to hear that Ateneans and Lasallians are so far removed from the harsh realities of our country and the unimaginable daily plight of the impoverished, these are all true. It’s about time we do something about it
The day we’ll become real men and women for others is the day we go beyond writing papers and giving reports – it’s when we step out of our comfort zones to really reach out to the people who have been knocking on our doors far too long. We’ll become men and women for others when we stop doing it for the grade. When we hope to be measured not by letters, but by impact.
Rude Awakening # 4: On being ignorant
When I graduated I thought I knew a lot and I had the whole world in my hands. The brutal truth? What I knew would barely help me survive in the real world.
I realized how ignorant I was to not know about things that are seemingly trivial, but essential. Things like commuter routes, like government office SOP’s, like paying taxes, like registering vehicles, like living on a tight budget and many more.
I wish I paid as much attention to life in the real world as I did my classes and lectures.
Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for being given the chance to study in those schools, much thanks to my parents and grandparents for making that happen. It’s just that the perpetuation of the current system results to our being disconnected from the world so much so that we already deserve to be called selfish, snobbish and without a care for the world. Being educated in the top schools was a privilege – yet we are entitled to nothing unless we make sure that we who have been given much will serve those who received less and not the other way around.
Enter With Hope: My First 2012 Entry
A personal reflection on the year that past and the year that beckons.
Before the smoke clears from tonight’s festivities, I take a look back on the year that just passed. 2011 was rough – filled with falls and tumbles that I’ve never experienced before. The whole year was a test of my own resolve and willingness to get back up on my feet after being run down to the ground.
I look at the past with pain and disappointment.
I look at today with thanks.
I look at tomorrow with hope and optimism.
I realized that from my failures I had much to learn while from my successes I had much to be thankful for.
When things seem to be at their worst, then there’s no other recourse but to hope for the better.
When the world throws shit at your family, fight back. Adversity brought my siblings and I closer than ever before and for that I look to 2012 with hope and confidence that we can go through anything. A sudden change made me believe and trust in my parents more than I ever had and the fragile state of my grandmother woke me up.
When the world decides to break your heart, be patient. Someday, someone will come along to put back all the broken pieces of your heart together.
When the world shows you a road less travelled, take it. I realized how difficult yet life-changing it was to tread a path of my own. It will be a struggle; but the hardships will all be worth it in the end.
When the world bestows upon you a talent, use it. Nothing beats doing what you love most and what you are best at and getting rewarded for it.
When the world separates you from your dearest friends, reach out. While social networks make it easy (yet boring) to communicate, nothing beats unending laughter and stories over a bottle of beers and a table full of food. A real hug will always be better than receiving a “like” or a “poke”.
When the world gives you much, give back. Help out those who have much less – then you’ll be given so much more than what you already have.
Finally, When the world throws everything it has at you, take it all in, offer your middle finger and smile. There would always, always be a glimmer of hope. For everything else, there are the things that will forever be with us – family, love and friends. Those should be enough to keep us sane.
Happy New Year.
A boyfriend’s letter
Dear Girlfriend,
I write because I want to tell you something – a lot of things, actually. I write because when I’m with you, words become superfluous. It’s like all words escape me and the lines I have practiced in my head a thousand times become all jumbled up once I stare into your eyes.
(Insert term of endearment here), Thank you. I’ve got so many things to thank you for that I don’t even know where to start. Let me just put it this way – I’m often lost for words to show you how much I appreciate the things that you do so in this moment I just want to thank you for making me the happiest and luckiest guy alive. Thank you for being the absolute best and most wonderful girlfriend in the world.
(Insert term of endearment here), allow me to apologize for, at times, succumbing to the pressures and dictates of society with regard to how men should act. Yeah, as I write and reveal my emotions I violate an unwritten code of supposed “strength” and dominance in relationships. I however, could only care less about those rules if it means that I can’t be as cheesy nor can I be as romantic and show how head-over-heels in love I am with you. So from this day forth, screw the rules. I’ll be as cheesy as I can be if I wanted to.
(Insert term of endearment here), I give you permission to slap me when I become someone other than the guy you fell in love with. Please do so with a passion. Slap me to wake me up and remind me of the reasons why I fell in love with you. I hope we don’t fall into the trap that a lot of couples fall into – which is that world of too much comfort that it kills the romance in the relationship. Why, it’s the reason why I promised to propose to you every year in the first place. I promise to try to always be the cheesy, silly, flirty and trying-to-be-funny boy you fell in love with. (Along with my other traits, of course.)
Honestly, I’m new to this vulnerability that I feel as I open my heart and my mind to you more and more each day. I once had walls so high up around me and only you had the patience to break it down ever so gently. It’s a strange feeling as I have never revealed myself this much to anyone other than a higher being whose face I have never seen.
I guess this is one of the things about being in love, at least for me. It’s entrusting to you the core of my being – allowing you to hold the things that make me who I am and giving you the power to either nurture it or crush it with a single blow. At the same time, It’s about nurturing the core of yours which you have entrusted to me – making sure that I keep it safe, I take care of it, and I help it grow.
(Insert term of endearment here), I am yours. You had me giddy the moment I caught a glimpse of your smile. You had me crushing on you that day when our eyes met and I was able to see how beautiful they really are. You unknowingly sent a million butterflies fluttering inside my stomach when you first held my hand and you sent my heart falling and my mind spinning like crazy everyday thereafter.
Anyway, I have to end this because I feel that the words are starting to escape me once again. (It’s probably the thought of you that sends my heart aflutter and my mind aclutter)
That’s all (Insert term of endearment here).
I love you.
Crazy in-love,
Boyfriend
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